WHAT'S IN A NAME?

      As in most families, there are stories that are told over and over and never challenged.  I must admit to hearing stories about my family and never questioning the authenticity, the facts, or the particulars until I was much older, but by then the ones who told me the stories were gone.  However, here follows a family story in which the two main characters are still with us so far. . .my youngest brother, Tommy, and yours truly!

      Four years after I was born, my mother (already the mother of two) gave birth to my youngest brother.  This great event took place in Jackson, MS, while I was in New Orleans with my maternal grandmother.  Mother called her mother (and me too) to tell us that she had had a little boy.  Family lore has it that I said, “Let’s call him Tommy.” And from then on, everyone agreed that I had named my baby brother. . . especially acknowledged by my baby brother, Tommy!

      Tommy’s full name is Thomas Leigh Bryant.  His wife calls him Tom,  and so do most of the people who have met him as an adult. However, family members and friends who knew him when, call him Tommy or TB.  As an attorney and a retired Lt. Col. in the US Army, I guess it would be unseemly for him to be known as “Tommy.” Nevertheless, even Tom, Tommy, and TB, all three have acknowledged that I named him.

      As I now seem to be the “matriarch” of the family, I have found myself making sure that other family members know what I know about the family.  I start many a conversation with Tommy and his daughters with “Did I ever tell you. . ?” Most of the time, I have; some of the time, I’ll tell them something they never heard. One such conversation took place a couple of years ago.

      As TB was only three when Daddy died, he doesn’t remember much except what he’s been told.  When Mama was relating stories about family members on both sides of the family, Tommy and our other brother, Giles, were out playing ball or doing anything but listening to stories. So, one day not too long ago, Tommy and I were talking about some of our father’s relatives. One story Mama always told me was about one of my father’s uncles and his wife.  Tom Giles and his wife, Grace, had been married for many years.  They had no children, and they lived in McHenry, MS.  Traveling from Hattiesburg to Gulfport, one had to go through McHenry, and my parents often stopped to see Uncle Tom and Aunt Grace.  I vaguely remember being at their house, but I don’t ever remember having lunch or dinner.  But Mama would tell about the meals they had in McHenry. 

      They all would be sitting around a big dining table, laden with all sorts of wonderful looking and smelling Southern food.  After the blessing, everyone sat in readiness for the meal.  All of a sudden, it was as if no one was at the table but my great uncle and his wife.  She called him Suge (as in Sugar), and he called her Suggie (as in a diminutive of Sugar), and Mama always referred to them (not to their faces) as Suge and Suggie (as well as any other couple she knew who were so involved in each other that the rest of the world didn't matter, but back to the original). And it would start:  “Suge, can I pass you the beans?” “Thank you Suggie. Would you like the potatoes?” “Suge, is your tea sweet enough?” “Yes, Suggie, thank you.” And this would go on with the two passing the food platters back and forth between themselves.  Finally, others would have to get up and get a bowl or a platter and pass it to the others. I always thought it as a very funny family story, not realizing that I was the last person in the family who knew it after Mama was gone.

      When I was relating this story to Brother Tommy a couple of years ago, I interjected an innocent remark.  I think I said something like, “I can’t believe that Mama named you after Uncle Tom Giles.  He wasn’t close to the family, as I remember.”  My brother was very quiet for a few seconds.  Then, he said, “I thought you named me.” I admitted I did, but then I added, “When Mama called from Jackson, she said I had a new little brother and his name would be Thomas, and I said let’s call him Tommy. Then my brother asked (sort of sarcastically), THAT'S it? That's IT? That’s a no-brainer. . .calling a Thomas, Tommy! For over 60 years, I thought you named me, and now I find out that you just came up with the nickname? I reminded him that I was only four and didn’t have a whole lot of names in my head.  He was still almost in disbelief when he asked, “Why in the world did Mama name me after someone she didn’t care too much about? I don’t ever remember seeing Uncle Tom.” This I was able to clear up for him:  Mama said that Uncle Tom Giles had a beautiful, gold pocket watch. As he and Aunt Grace didn’t have any children, Mama thought that maybe he would leave it to a namesake – Tommy! He didn't. TB was quiet again and then, not unlike a bad-tempered child, my 60-something-year-old brother exclaimed, Where’s MY watch???